Thursday, December 14, 2006

Party at my Place

For those of you who know me, there's going to be a party on Monday at our house. Most of my MBA classmates will be there so, contrary to what people think of graduate students, there's no need to bring your thinking caps. No thinking, not even a smidgen of intellectual thought, is allowed there. Just bring yourself.

For those of you guys unfortunate enough to have no friends to invite over for a party, preparing for one such activity can be a daunting task. It's just below the task of explaining to your wife why the hell are you late coming home smelling nothing like you spent the night working on a report.

First off, I have to take into account the number of persons who will attend the gathering so as to prepare the requisite number of chairs and tables needed. A house party is no fun, especially for the hosts, if drunk guests keep putting their cold drinks wherever they choose. The wooden furnitures my mom carefully selected for the house will surely look like an old, moldy antique after all this.

Next, I have to think of what guests can do when they get bored with each others faces. I mean, seeing the same faces for two years in the MBA program can easily sterilize you and, helped by the beer, a person can easily mistake one of my classmates for a chihuahua. Not that my classmates look like one.

Good thing we have a videoke machine at home. At least the guests have something else to do rather than just wreck the place avoiding the scenario of me explaining to my mom why one of the chairs is in the trash.

The bad news is that I will have to buy an exchange gift worth P200, including the P35 gift wrapper.

For those of you who does not know me, you should know that I am a typical guy when it comes to shopping.

Furthermore, you'll be surprised as to the extent of my maleness. I believe that a particular hormone exists in females making it easier for them to shop for gifts or for groceries or for other things that can shopped. I hereby call this the shopping hormone.

Typical males, unfortunately, lack this particular gene. This results to me being nauseous everytime I try to go to the mall and shop for a particular object. The lack of this hormone is the reason why males usually just pick the nearest item they can reach that they deem sufficient to address whatever needs they have.

The presence of this shopping hormone in females enable them to last for more than three hours shopping or looking or just trying on a particular item.

I intend to submit this theory to the local medical association for review and further studies.

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